Not now

Are you comfortable in front of people, or does the idea of public speaking make you want to hide in the bathroom? Why?

I have been several times in front of an audience speaking about complex matters like the Balkan’s war, local terrorism, political corruption, criminality, and other issues I was reporting about then. I don’t like to speak in public. I prefer to write. But I thought it was the right thing to do.

Talking in public about the Balkan's war
Talking in public about the Balkan’s war

I went to speak even when the audience was openly against me or sharply divided. I took the challenge. It was stressful and hard. Sometimes very hard. But I was confident in my knowledge of the situation and my point of view and they said I was convincing and articulated. I would like to think all those public speeches and interviews were useful.

That was before. Now I’m terrified. I only want to hide. My “fighting” days are over. Why? You already know if you follow this blog. I’m depressed. I only want to cry, hide in a corner and disappear. I have not strength. When I try to speak in public I only stammer and get anxious and frustrated. And then, who cares what I think about those issues and about news any more? I write about them just to say what I think and that’s enough to me. Because I’m so weak, I have to concentrate all my strength in other things related to the people I love. Be there for them. That’s my priority.

Daily Prompt: Naked with Black Socks.

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